Back / Lisa Lees / Contact Lisa
I've heard several members of the Chicago Gender Society (CGS) wish that there was a clearinghouse of information on transitioning, especially at work. By way of some info on my experience, here is my abbreviated story of my transitioning on the job as a factory worker.
Let me preface the whole story by first thanking Julie Ann and Miranda for their invaluable advice. For me there were three key elements. First, Julie Ann explained how to get a name change then a new driver's license with my new name and gender FEMALE on it. Second, Miranda told me from her work in ITI and surveying corporations that they simply have no policy on transsexuals transitioning at work. So instead of asking what corporate policy is, I should politely ask HOW we could facilitate my transitioning on the job. Finally, I intuitively understood that long-term patience would be a major factor.
On Julie's advice, I hired Beth Plotner, a transgendered lawyer to help me with my name change. Beth was terrific and on the morning of January 8th, 2001, Alysha Jo Kelley became a legal reality. From there, I went directly to the Driver's License facility in Niles because other TS's have had good results there. I went armed with letters from my therapist, my hormone doctor AND my primary care physician. These essentially stated that I was TS and should be treated as a woman.
The name change on the license was easy. The Secretary of State's office does that all the time. When my turn at the counter came, I quietly requested my name change and at the same time was unfolding my three letters. Then I asked, as the letters stated that my gender be changed to FEMALE. This threw the clerk a bit and she had to leave and seek advice. I waited patiently at the counter for 30 minutes, not knowing what was going on. When she came back, she was all business and made the requested changes.
When I got to the camera to have my picture taken, I handed all of the paper work to the operator. As I stood waiting for him to take my picture, he got very confused because he had the old license as well as the new paperwork. He asked if this was really me. Yes. Then he double-checked by asking my birth date. That settled, he took my picture and I walked out of the facility legally as a woman.
Wow! What a day, but there was more to come.
I had planned on calling my Human Resources Director and asking for a meeting at her convenience. However, I was pretty tired by the time I got home and wanted to wait. My intuition was 'screaming' at me to call. Finally I did. She did have a slot open at 10AM the following day. The only problem is that since our facility is so small, her office was in Detroit, a six-hour drive. I absolutely went there, especially following the highs I had already experienced that day.
I started by explaining that the person she saw (myself) was a lie (I was dressed as a man in a man's suit). The reason for this is that in all respects except physically I was a woman: my spiritual, emotional, mental and psychological makeup was female. In fact, I had been diagnosed with GID (Gender Identity Disorder as defined by the American Psychiatric Association). There is no cure for GID, except to allow the individual to live in the preferred gender. I showed her my new license and three letters, explaining that except for work I lived my life as a woman. Further, I told her that the State of Illinois legally recognized me as female.
Now here is the critical part. I asked her how we could best facilitate my transitioning on the job. Not may I. Even though this was her first experience with a transsexual; she did not even bat an eye at the whole situation. To help, I gave her the book Transsexual Workers: An Employer's Guide. (Later, I also provided copies for my managers. I added that my transitioning would add to the diversity of the corporate work force, a principle the company emphasizes a lot.
Of course there was no answer that day nor did I expect one. She would have to confer with her superiors. Well, of course, the whole thing dragged on as my request slowly made its way up the corporate ladder and back down.
My patience was motivated not only by intuition, but TS's that just suddenly and blithely show up at work as a woman, do not generally succeed in their transition on the job.
I waited a couple of months with no dialogue at all. I called her a couple of times during April. While she was positive in her responses, there still was no answer. Finally, in late April, she called me and asked if her boss, the division Human Resource Director could meet with me in late May. I was elated and immediately accepted.
The divisional HR director and I had breakfast together. In retrospect, this meeting was critical. He wanted to meet me and evaluate the situation himself. I went dressed nicely, but in clothes typical of what I would wear at work: nice pants with a subdued but feminine sweater, very light makeup with my hair down, held back by a headband. Over breakfast, We did not discuss transitioning, but about me, my attitude and what it is like to be TS. I could see him relaxing over the course of the meal. When he left me, he went directly to the factory and met with the management team of my facility. While he was nice about it, he told them my transition would happen and he looked to them for support in this matter of diversity in the work force.
The real question was "When?" There were a multitude of factors, too numerous to go into here, but the target date was 7/17, a little over six months after my request. At that time, they would finish up diversity training of the work force. Then they would announce that as of that date, I would be coming to work as a woman and that I would be treated like any other employee, female or male. But NO harassment would be allowed (the decision whether I was being harassed was left up to me to report to my boss).
While a firestorm of debate about my transition and me raged around me, it did not touch me directly. I was "in the eye of the hurricane." In fact, everyone that I had contact with at work was very gracious about my transition and worked very hard at trying to call me Alysha and not 'Jim'. If you think about it, that is difficult to start calling anyone by a different name.
It was an accomplished fact: in all facets of my life, I was now living full time as the woman I am. As a side note, there was little or no furor about my using the single stall women's restroom close to my work area. While I and management made it clear that I would not be using the woman's locker room (where they change into their factory clothes), the biggest uproar was over this issue by female employees that I never saw at work. That did and still does amaze me.
Yes, there was an element of good fortune in my transition in terms of the progressive company I worked for. However, I credit most of my success to the good advice I got and patience.
There was a downside. Less than three months after transition, I had to suddenly 'retire' and move to Florida to be a caregiver to my elderly parents. Bless their hearts, while they have had a hard time calling me Alysha, they, too, have been gracious enough to allow me to live as a woman. The critical downside of this move was, for the present, postponing my surgery, scheduled for April 1st, 2002. Mom died last week at the age of 91, so now it is just dad I have to be caregiver for.
I miss CGS, but I am kinda still part of you as I continue to manage the CGS website (www.chicagogender.com). I will be glad to answer questions if you want to email me at alysha@tnni.net. You can also contact me through the website by emailing the webmistress, me.
Copyright by the author, Alysha Kelley, 14 May 2002.
You are here: www.lisalees.com/trans/out
Back /
Lisa Lees / Contact Lisa