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Support Group Rules

This is a set of sample rules for a support group. I've used these rules before, both as a facilitator and as a member of a group facilitated by other people. They seem to work pretty well. I don't know where these rules originated; they may simply be common sense.

It's a good idea to repeat the rules before every session of a group, even if the people present are 'regulars'. This helps people move into a 'support group' mindset.

  1. Try to arrive on time, remain for the entire session, and do not wander in and out of the session. (If the group meets for more than an hour, consider having a short planned break.)
  2. Unless you're expecting an emergency call, please turn cell phones or pagers off, and do not make calls during the meeting.
  3. This group is for discussion and support, not debate. No one is right, no one is wrong. In particular, there is no single correct view of sex, gender, social role or human sexuality.
  4. Listen. Hear what the other person is saying. Let them finish talking. Think before you react. Realize that the same word may mean different things to different people.
  5. Talk about yourself and your own experience. You may ask questions of others, but do not challenge the validity of their personal experience.
  6. Keep your comments brief and to the point, so everyone has a chance to speak.
  7. Do not generalize from your experience and feelings to the experience and feelings of others. Let them speak for themselves.
  8. Do not attack, do not try to hurt, do not pass judgment.
  9. Treat this group session as a private conversation, do not repeat elsewhere what is said here.

Perhaps the most difficult rule to enforce is #6. When a person first finds a support group, they often have a lot bottled up inside that they need to say and need to have heard. Because most groups meet for a relatively short time, it's essential to enforce that rule or some people will not have a chance to participate. Also be sensitive to people who look like they're trying to speak up but don't do so because someone else always jumps in first.

 
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